Be unapologetic

by - July 01, 2018

I decided to take a hiatus from university life, though I only have a semester left, things that occurred at the latter part of last year was just too overwhelming. Basically I was mugged, got my things stolen, a police chase, alongside being grilled by one of the most demanding thesis adviser in my major. The psychological effect of being harassed while commuting back to my apartment gave me anxiety where I barely slept at night, and got too scared of commuting via public transport for a long period of time, as well as having seen my attacker just nonchalantly walking around the neighborhood. My family was on the other side of the globe, and I just felt so helpless. Thankfully my long time roommate and good friend, Dianne, was there for support and reassurance for everything, and Angela who offered a second home when everything was just too much.

Coincidentally when circumstances drove me in a way of hindering my enrollment for the second semester, and I was "healing" from all of the craziness, our apartment then had almost got broken into. That's when we decided that we should definitely move. Thankfully, we found a condo unit that fit our budget, and everything has been going smoothly, since we moved in. 

Looking how my then colleagues, has already settled in their careers, getting their professional licenses, makes feel a bit out of place, and I just remind myself how things happen for a reason. One of the things that's holding me back from finding contentment and happiness as of right now, is the fear of being judged of how I'm handling my life, and it has affected me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I think what the universe is telling me is just to man up a bit more and take things as they are.

As they are; I'm jobless, 24 year old undergrad who gained all the weight she lost, all alone in a country to whom my immediate family isn't around. I know that I have other traits that make me more than what's on the surface, but sometimes everyone just has those down times. To whoever is going to through the same thing, we are going to be okay, we are not defined by the circumstances we are dealt with. What matters is how we respond to these hurdles. This is just a tiny bump on the road and we're going to look back and even forget that it was even a struggle. 

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