I was an anal, self-absorbed, pretentious teenager

by - September 26, 2017

I’ve been blurting out my thoughts into the cyberspace since 2008. Looking back, I actually made a Xanga account back in 2006, because my classmate Camille, in 3rd grade, told me to try it out, though the idea of “blogging” was quite foreign and I never really posted anything. It was the same time I got my very first e-mail account. I remember asking my dad for one, and he used the same handle on the account that was labeled on my account on our family computer. The time of Neopets, Coke Studios, habbohotel followed then after.

What fascinated me about blogging was the ability to share your experiences to the world. It was fair game for everyone. One of the best parts of having a blog for a time is looking back and seeing how much you’ve grown as a person. Since my blog was heavily based on events, experiences and opinions, I can pretty much say that I’ve change a lot. Sadly my current blog only dates up to 2010, because I decided to delete my first blog which I regretted. From then on, I decided to keep everything, no matter how embarrassing my posts are. I placed majority of them on private.

Even my blog was struggling with an identity crisis. Reading back, several of my posts seemed like it was written by an anal, self-absorbed, pretentious teenager with too much time on her hands. My priorities were all over the place, but I guess that goes to show how much I’ve improved as a person. I can laugh at it now, all my problems before were so silly, maybe because of the multiple shifts in my life. The people I’ve dealt with, struggles I went through, books I’ve read, terrifying experiences I pushed through, it all had an effect on what I am now.

It saddens me that there are people I’ve ended up having to leave behind. I’ve never particularly kept friendships intact, but I’ll always have the same amount of respect for them. Some people still live in the past and there not much you can do about that except hope for the best for them, and nobody can hold that against you. Personal growth is part of surviving.

My final take on self-growth is acknowledge your struggles and insecurities and use them as a tool to learn from. Push your limits, you might end up doing what you thought was impossible. 

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