This time of year I'm almost always having an internal conflict with why I let myself have high expectations of people. Surprisingly, this time around I feel uninterested in dealing with, let alone creating new relationships that in no way helps me in my current state of what I call "manic millennial syndrome". My siblings are the people who are currently keeping me sane. 

Just recently obtaining my bachelor's degree a couple months back, I've still been in a slump in terms of my career path. Albeit, Estados Unidos is considered as the land of opportunities, I haven't yet established what opportunities I should actually be pursuing. Graduating with a foreign degree for my profession is a bit more complicated in terms of a step-by-step process. I've consulted with a local architect, and even told me that there's a path of working within an architectural firm for 7 years (in California), could be considered in lieu of a bachelor's, before taking 2 year apprenticeship. Only then can you pursue taking the 6 exam Architect Registration Examination.

I've also considered of getting a Master's Degree to have an accredited degree, but then again having just finished my degree makes me nauseous thinking about going back to architecture school so soon. As well as it's not in my hands if I get immediately accepted into a program. There's also this underlying fear if this is still what I want to end up doing for the rest of my life, and I owe it to myself and future clients that I should be 100 percent invested to be successful in what career I end up in.

Within the same time frame I can also switch careers, which is why I'm trying to take it slow in decision making, to be absolutely sure in my decision. I've given myself a deadline to figure out which path to take, at the same time both studying up on another career that I'm considering of taking, as well as improving my skill set and portfolio, if and when I still end up pursuing Architecture. 

I've always taken different routes compared to my peers. My friends in High School all ended up taking Nursing. Now everyone I know in my Architecture circle, has a step-by-step process in moving forward with their career, while I'm trying to feel everything out in the dark, by myself. Granted, I'm very appreciative of  having a wide array of experiences compared to your average Joe, but then again it's hard not to dismiss the fact that it's been difficult. In hindsight so far my life has been quite colorful, with all these "plot twists".

I don't want to close doors when things get difficult, but at the same time I have to consider time frame and feasibility of all decisions. In the past months I've been beating myself up in terms of where I'll end up. Was everything just a waste? but I keep reminding myself to stop doubting and just take things one step at a time. You make something of yourself when start thinking of yourself as something.